There’s nothing better than welcoming the witching season by curling up on the couch with big bowl o’ hot buttered popcorn, some sugary goodies and watching your favorite horror flick on t.v.
But one can only watch Cujo fling himself at those car windows so many times before one becomes jaded.
Today’s spotlight author, Jessica McHugh tells us how she would escape the beckoning gaze of Hellevision, with his large, screened eyes that try to capture your soul.
BB: Using mythical creatures, popular movie villains, strange characters and any other weirdness your twisted mind can think of, conjure up what you think the next Big Bad horror villain should be.
With knobby fingers the creature known as “Hellevision” beckons you, but it’s with his large, screened eyes that he captures your soul. A hulking mass of gray flesh, he lumbers like a drinking bird on ether, but he needn’t use his ropy muscles to hold you to your spot. His ocular screens flicker and flash and fetch you from the world you call “reality,” keeping you a prisoner to the unreality playing in his eyes. How can you survive when “Survivor” is on? How can you eliminate his threat when you need to know which statuesque blond bint will get a rose? Once his feeding is through, you are little more than a husk, wobbling like a Weeble until you fall to ash.
BB: What would you do if you ran into said villain?
I would avoid his entrancing eyes at all costs…but…Honey Boo Boo is waiting therein, jiggling wildly like electrocuted gelatin. It’s so hard to turn away. But I must! I’ll think of books instead! Books and gardens and the time I fell through my ceiling. Anything to tear myself away from his gaze and RUN.
BB: You need to stand out from the other victims in the movie. What catchphrase would you scream as you try to run away?
I’d rather be at Long John Silver’s!!
BB: The monster has you and your friends cornered. What do you do?
Have the urge to change my soiled pants, then persuade my crew to sing “C is for Cookie” in order to distract ourselves from looking into Hellevision’s eyes. Unfortunately, the song spurs the bastard to make 1980’s episodes of “Sesame Street” appear in his eye-screens. We are doomed.
BB: What is your weapon of choice to fight the Big Bad?
The only thing that can break TV screens with little effort: Wii Remotes. We slip the straps from our wrists and start dancing crazy, hoping that our manic movements will disorient the Hellevision long enough to chuck our Wiimotes at his face.
BB: What is the eventual outcome? Is your number up? Or do you survive (and if so, how does the ordeal effect you)?
After a lengthy battle and one smashed eye, Hellevision retreats and leaves us unscathed…somewhat. Although we have broken free of his trances, some of his poison stays, coursing our brains with syndicated mashups like “Full House, M.D.” and “Glee Acres.”
We survive, yes, but at what cost?
Jessica McHugh is an author of speculative fiction that spans the genre from horror and alternate history to epic fantasy. A prolific writer, she has devoted herself to novels, short stories, poetry, and playwriting. She has had twelve books published in four years, including the bestselling “Rabbits in the Garden,” “The Sky: The World” and the gritty coming-of-age thriller, “PINS.” More info on Jessica’s speculations and publications can be found at JessicaMcHughBooks.com.
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And don’t forget to check out our other Coffin Hop posts below!
Table of contents for Coffin Hop 2012
- This stop…the Coffin Hop!
- Coffin Hopping with Georgina Morales
- Coffin Hopping with Brent Abell
- Coffin Hopping with Brewin
- Coffin Hopping with L.M. Murphy
- Coffin Hopping with Julianne Snow
- Coffin Hopping with John Everson
- Coffin Hopping with C.W. LaSart
- Coffin Hopping with Axel Howerton
- Coffin Hopping with Red Tash
- Coffin Hopping with Jessica McHugh
- Coffin Hopping with Jolie Du Pre
- Coffin Hopping with Johanna K. Pitcairn